An Outspoken Chemist

According to dictionary.com:

Bully: a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

Almost all of us have been bullied at some point in our lives. Others of us may have bullied someone in the past (sometimes without even knowing it). But everything boils down to learning how to respect one another and keep our opinions that could hurt others to ourselves. You never know how much one simple statement can harm a person for life.

Time to delve into some personal occurrences from my past. When I was in 6th grade, my mom had bought me a pretty dress. I showed it to my grandmother and asked how she liked it. Her reply? “It looks good but you need to lose some weight.” I’ve always been chubby, but honestly, I was always comfortable in my own skin. But that hurt more than you can imagine. I remember playing soccer in 8th grade. I accidentally got in the way of the soccer ball and a kid yelled out, “MOVE YOUR FUCKING KANKLES!” I held it in for the rest of the day, but once I got home, I cried. Those two occurrences have always haunted me, but I am working to overcome them.

Now it’s time to get a bit controversial. There are institutions and members of said institutions that don’t even realized they are being bullies. And that is some churches and religions. I’m not saying all. I’m saying some. Many churches and religions grow hatred and prejudice against people who do not fit their standard views of what is right and wrong. I have witnessed first hand how detrimental telling a child that they will go to Hell or are plain out wrong for feeling or being DIFFERENT. I have had “Christians” tell me that it’s OK to judge others if it’s what God wants. Who are we to decide what God wants? No matter what religion (or lack thereof), we are taught tolerance and love. So if you have been or are one of those that tries to justify treating others wrongly, then you need to rethink how you see yourself. Are you really doing what’s right, or are you being a BULLY? 

This post was something that has been laid on my heart to write. A conversation (more of a heated debate) I had with an old friend greatly disturbed me as they justified how they spoke about and treated gay people as essentially doing what God wanted.

So I’m doing this post at the request of a dear of mine.

As you know, I am a chemistry major. I love it for sure, but there is another big part of me that many know, but not all. I sing and act on the side. I’ve been singing since I could talk and have almost always sung in some kind of choir. Back in high school, I was a soprano and the section leader for my sopranos. It was amazing. Music has always been my other passion, and without it, I don’t know where I’d be. It took me a while to realize that I didn’t have to abandon music and acting in order to go to college. I sang in the CSUSB concert choir for a bit, and now I just sing with the radio or make recordings that only a few people get to hear or see. If you want to hear, just ask me. ;)

But anyway, the purpose of this post is to remind you not to forget about any other passions or hobbies that you love. Having an outlet is a good thing to have. Don’t be afraid to show people your other side. Follow your heart. Make sure that whatever you do, you are happy. I’m happy having my profession and singing on the side as a hobby. Others are happy with music as a career. Just make sure YOU are happy. Find a happy medium if need-be. 

The moral of the story: DON’T FORGET YOUR PASSIONS!

I posted this on my Facebook page. Felt the need to post it here.

God created man in his own image. He told us that we are not to judge one another. So how is forbidding people from getting married following his orders for us? Who are we to judge and say what is natural and unnatural? It isn’t our right to determine that. God tells us to love one another. How is denying a basic right showing love?

Showing God’s love isn’t telling someone that how they feel is wrong. Showing God’s love is treating them like the human beings they are. 

So again, I thank God for the panel of judges who evaluated the Proposition 8 ruling. They were able to see that human beings have inalienable, God-given rights.

It seems like there are too many kids giving up their hopes and dreams in order to be popular or hip. It’s one thing to have lots of friends and what not, but kids, listen to me, if you want to be successful, stay in school. Get good grades. Don’t count on getting a sports scholarship to college. Sure, some students get scholarships, but not that many! You have a much better chance at going to college if you do well in school.

As far as the worry over being called a “nerd” and losing you status, WHO CARES?! I guarantee that you won’t keep in touch with many of the people you went to high school with. Sure you will when you first graduate, but after one or two years, you will drift apart. Besides, being a nerd is a wonderful thing to be. I got a scholarship to college that covers my tuition and gives me priority registration for being in the top 1% of my high school class. Sure, I was teased for being a nerd by some of my peers, but guess what? Those haters aren’t doing anything with their lives! They are stuck jumping job to job and struggling to keep their heads above water. 

Don’t get me wrong, hate can hurt. BAD. I’ll be honest with you: I had nights where I cried in my room from some of the hurtful things that were said to me. But I kept pushing. I didn’t let it make me quit. Now that I’m older, I say “thank you” to those that call me a nerd. And I tell kids to do the same. Nothing throws the haters off more than thanking them for the compliment.

Anyway, be proud of who you are. Don’t fall into the social aspect of school because you want to be cool. Being a nerd ROCKS. If high school was the best time of you life, then that is really sad. College trumps high school by far. Being a nerd got me to college without owing thousands in student loans and will get me to graduate school debt free too. 

So to those who teased me as a kid, THANK YOU for making me into a stronger person and NERDIER NERD.

I was talking to my mother and boyfriend last week, and made a joke about myself that was actually true at one point in my life. So, here’s a lesson I learned.

“I’m defective. I’m like that rag doll in a clearance bin at a store that’s been  played with and broken by a bunch of people. I’ve been rejected by people because of stupid reasons like my knee problem or my size. Someone was thinking of buying me, but ended up leaving me behind. I had been found by people who seemed interested in me, but they just wanted to play and then leave me behind.”

Later that day, my boyfriend told me that he was upset about how I felt, which made me realize that I forgot about the end of my metaphoric joke.

“This defective rag doll was found and bought. I was dug up and loved by him, despite the fact that I was defective. He’s fixed me up and takes care of me. This rag doll found a home.”

So thanks Kevin, for finding me and caring for me. To those of you that read this, cherish what you have. Be patient about finding someone, they’ll come around. We all get thrown into the toy box once in a while, but eventually, we get out.